A new “viral” news report has started to spread today on social media, and click-bait websites. Apparently, 16 girls got pregnant at a birthday party after one of the boys who also attended the party ejaculated into the swimming pool. Check out the click-bait article :
A surprise birthday party went horribly wrong after girls between the age of 13 and 17 years accidentally became pregnant. A simple weekend pool party turned to tragedy when one of the young men attending the birthday celebration ejaculated in the pool without warning the house guests, accidentally ending up impregnating half of the girls present at the celebration.
“I’m glad I didn’t have my swimsuit that day,” remembers Daliah Jennings, present during the celebration. “It was a surprise party to celebrate my 15th birthday, let’s just say that a baby in my womb is the kind of present I’m glad I didn’t get” she acknowledges, visibly relieved of not getting pregnant. The young man claims there was no s*x at the party at all and that he only ejaculated in the pool by accident.
“Some people in town say we had some kind of wild s*x orgy going on and that’s how I got all those girls pregnant, but I’m proud to say that I am still a virgin and that if anyone doesn’t believe me, I’m ready to undergo medical examination to prove it if that’s what it takes,” says the 15 year old. “I’ve become some sort of a local celebrity. People come up to me all the time and shake my hand and congratulate me, but I didn’t do anything!” he adds, visibly sincere.
Dr. John Suzukima of Tallahassee Memorial Healthcare Hospital, who was the first to link the multiple births to a single cause, believes the young man has a rare medical condition called spermafortis which makes his semen unusually potent. “Clinical tests have proven that people who suffer from spermafortis have sperm counts close to a thousand times more potent and rich in spermatozoids than the average man,” he explains.
“This kind of semen is fairly similar to that of common water mammals, such as dolphins, manatees and seals and has properties that make it incredibly resistant to water. This condition could definitely explain what happened in this case but clinical trials and further tests would be needed to prove this theory,” he told local reporters.
Needless to say, this is absolute BULLSHIT. Let us show you why.
You Can’t Get Pregnant From Sperm In A Swimming Pool
Let’s get this one out of the way first. It is not possible for any girl to get pregnant from sperm in a swimming pool. Take a look at four scientific reasons why no girl needs to worry about sperm in a swimming pool.
Dr. John Suzukima Does Not Exist
The Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare hospital exists, but they do not have a Dr. John Suzukima in their staff directory.
In fact, Dr. John Suzukima does not exist in any hospital in the world. Needless to say, there is no media report quoting a John Suzukima.
Spermafortis Does Not Exist
There is no medical condition called spermafortis. It is a fake word constructed from the words “sperm” and “fortis“, which is Latin for strong. In other words, spermafortis = strong sperm.
Even if such potent sperm exists, they will still die in the toxic environment of the swimming pool.
Water Mammals Do Not Have “Waterproof” Sperm
Mammals like dolphins, manatees and seals reproduce by penetrative sex. In other words, the male has to insert his penis into the vagina of the female, to deliver the ejaculate. You won’t find them ejaculating into the water to impregnate the females. In fact, manatees and seals actually have sex on land, not in the water.
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