Engrish with a kind of Gollum Gollum voice…

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Oh my Engrish! The Chinese never cease to amaze us with their inventive use of the English language. Introducing their latest effort – the electric warm bag with a kind of Gollum Gollum voice…

This is a contribution by my pal, Chuck Yorke, so all credit goes to him for this magnificent example of much Engrish #FAIL. 😀

This is no ordinary electric hot water bottle. It has a patented “Explosion MOV” design that is 100% like other similar products. Go figure. There are other nuggets like :

  • Only 0.04 power, energy efficiency – doesn’t sound like it’s very efficient at all!
  • Flexible warm personal care for frostbite, arthritis, chronic gastrointestinal effects such as good hot – whatever this “good hot” gastrointestinal effect is, it doesn’t sound good at all!
Oh My Engrish - This "explosion" design makes for a "good hot" experience!
Oh My Engrish – This “explosion” design makes for a “good hot” experience!

But that is just the appetiser to tantalise your tastebuds for the main course that is on the back of the box… 😀

  • Forbidding power heated touch, and even can not be used with in power! !
  • Leachate was found to immediately stop using1
  • No self-care ability and children can not operate in ohmic hating! !
  • Not pour the liquid in the bag, and even not filling!
  • Can not be cut with sharp objects and fire hot products!
  • Pressure not to use more than 60KG weight of products!
  • James detergent product surface dirt can be a soft cloth, not use strong solvents, such as washing oil.
  • Products without long-term, please place a cool dry place.

Some of it, we can figure out what they are trying to say… but the other things, we have no idea how they come up with gems like that!

Oh My Engrish - When hissing sounds like "kind of "Gollum Gollum" voice"
Oh My Engrish – When hissing sounds like “kind of “Gollum Gollum” voice”

But the mother of all gems is this Friendly Reminder

Product heating process, if slightly dark, kind of “Gollum, Gollum” voice of the liquid flow is normal, no need to worry about.

Oh yes, this Chinese writer is obviously a BIG FAN of Lord of the Rings! He could not find the right words to describe the sound of hot steam venting, so he chose to convey it by describing it as a “kind of Gollum Gollum voice“. LOL!

You have to respect his ingenuity. I’m sure Gollum would approve. 😀


On A Serious Note : The Safety Of Electric Hot Water Bottles

Jokes aside, these electric hot water bottles pose some potential dangers to the user. In fact, on the 14th of March, 2014, New South Wales banned the sale of such electric hot water bottles. Here is an excerpt of their press release :

NSW Fair Trading Minister Stuart Ayres today announced a statewide prohibition by Fair Trading on the sale of electric hot water bottles, also known as electric heat packs, due to the risk of death or injury from electric shock.

Mr Ayres said the products are designed to be connected to electric power to heat up liquids contained within the bladder of the bottle with the aid of electrodes.

“The flexible heating pad design is emerging technology and no relevant Australian/New Zealand standard fully captures its design and use. Electric hot water bottles do not comply with the relevant standard of essential safety requirements of AS/NZS 60335.1 clause 22.33,” he said.

Mr Ayres said Fair Trading identified four serious safety concerns with the flexible heating pad:

  1. Exposed electrodes heat the internal liquid and this can conduct an electric current from the electrodes to a user via indirect contact through the outer bladder.
  2. Currently the design of the flexible heating pad allows the use of the pad while it is being charged, increasing the risk of electric shock.
  3. The bladder is all that insulates a user from the inner electrodes and the integrity of the bladder can be compromised by puncture, splitting or over-pressure caused by internal electrical fault, degradation or external forces.
  4. The standard prohibits an enclosure shaped or decorated like a toy and some of these products feature child appealing designs in the form of animal characters.

It is highly recommended that you do not use it while it’s heating up, or plugged into a live socket.

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